I have golfed exactly once. There were at least two of us in the group that had never golfed before, so the game felt more like following capricious little spheres around a field wherever they decided to go than an actual sport. In other words, we were pretty slow. To cap it off, we had to pause to lift an older gentleman's cart off its teetering perch on some rocks (he'd obviously spent more time drinking on the course than hitting the ball).

On the second to last hole, we were approached by two guys who proceeded to yell at us for being so slow and "messing around with a golf cart." Apparently they couldn't ask to play through because the "Japanese guys" between our groups wouldn't play through. Now they had to miss the last two holes due to a meeting.

At the time we were all stunned at this prodigious display of douchebaggery. Later, I just got angry. What sort of sport treats new learners like this? Why the hell would I want to be involved in a pastime that I'd have to share with such unabashed tools? I've never golfed since.

You're probably wondering what all this has to do with role playing. The answer is in the moral to my story: people's views on a thing are affected by first impressions. For better or for worse, your whole idea of something can be tainted by one bad experience. Then again, it can also be fired up by a great one. Thus, it's your responsibility to bring people into the hobby in a positive way.

A Bad Rap?

In one of Bryan's previous posts, he mentioned that gamers get a bad rap. This is certainly true. However, it's also true that, for some of us at least, the reputation is wholly deserved.

Admit it, you've seen them. Like the Morlocks of our gaming world, they lurk in the darkness, waiting to devour the air in the room. When they find out you're a gamer, they creep forth at parties to corner you and tell you about their characters ad nauseum, listing every stat, skill, feat, and notable accomplishment.

They make uncomfortable statements about girls as your girlfriend begins to slowly edge away. When you try to turn the conversation back to topics the civilians can understand, the Morlock's eyes turn glassy. Then they wipe their pizza-stained hands on their shirts, and steer things back to the exploits of their character.

Thankfully, these poor, socially devoid individuals don't make up a majority of gamers. They're out there, however. Unfortunately, they are what people remember when they think of gaming. Even worse, for some they're also the first introduction to playing.

Gamer Misfire

I think there's such a think as "gamer-dar" Sometimes, you look at a person, and know that they're a gamer. You haven't talked about it, but you just know. I don't know what it is, but it exists.

Several times, when I have broached the subject of gaming with people for whom my gamer-dar has gone off, I've gotten an interesting reaction. "Oh yeah, I tried that once. It seemed fun for a while, and then they [insert wince-inducing incident of social ineptitude]." I have yet to get a single one of them to try playing a second time.

Granted, some of these incidents occurred in adolescence. Just about any lack of people skills is forgivable at that point in life when we all have our dufus moments. Still, one weird encounter soured these guys on the hobby for life.

Making Introductions

I don't want to turn this into a Miss Manners post. I have however helped introduce quite a few people to gaming. Hopefully I can offer a few tips.

First, keep it light. You probably don't want to start out with an intense in-character debate on capital punishment. Yes, I have been there, but it wasn't anybody at the table's first rodeo. This applies to both the game topic, and the table ambiance. I think most of us would get a little freaked out too if we joined in on somebody else's hobby that they were taking a little too seriously, even if it happened to be Pictionary.

Skip the romance. It can be awkward for even seasoned gamers to role play romance. For newbies it could be especially weird. In fact, it was exactly this that scared off one of my proto-gamer friends.

Help with the mechanics. There's a lot to these games, so they might need help just figuring out what they can do. Don't push decisions on them, but help with the options. Also, make sure they know from where you're getting the numbers.

Go easy on the new guy. Being inexperienced, they probably won't be as effective in conflict. They won't be able to defend themselves as well. If you treat them just like the rest of the group, they're probably going to die, which is not a good introduction.

Politics, Religion, Sex, and Gaming Stories

I don't lay claim to being a charismatic guy, but I can at least spot a social gaff when I see it. Every time one of us gets a little uncomfortably too excited while in public talking about that 20 he rolled last weekend, a future gamer loses his dice. Unfortunately, I don't think we can teach tact.

We can, however, make one simple rule. Never, never, never tell a gaming story unless asked. Yes, that means that non-gamers will probably never hear your gaming stories. This is a good thing. It's just weird, and it will never be as good as you think. Every gaming story is a "you had to be there" moment.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't talk about gaming in general. Go forth, and spread the hobby. Bring in more players, treat 'em right, and play good games. Just don't tell people what happened in them (unless they ask).

Disagree that gaming stories are worse than talking about politics? Have more pointers for helping new gamers? Pissed because you think I called you a Morlock? Post your thoughts in the comments!